Am I Dead?
by Dragonmaster Dyne
Summary: A short ficlet detailing Tidus' final thoughts aboard the airship.


Title: Am I Dead?

Beginning Notes: I'm aware that this idea has probably been done to death. I don't hang out in the Final Fantasy X section nearly as much as I should so forgive me if this has "been done."

Disclaimer: I do not own FFX or any of its characters. They belong to Squaresoft.

Naturally, this story contains spoilers. Don't read if you haven't beaten the game.

---------------

So this was it.

I was kind of hoping that maybe, just maybe what the Fayth said was a lie. That I wasn't just a dream. That I really do exist. But I should've known better than to cling on to false hope.

I'm starting to disappear. Everyone is looking at me in awe. I turn to look at them, but quickly look away, not able to bear it. The knowledge that I would be looking at them, one final time.

"Yuna, I have to go."

She shakes her head, unable to accept it. I don't blame her, seeing as how this is the first time she knew that I was a dream.

But I had days and weeks to accept my fate and I was still finding it hard to believe.

Me? A dream? No, it couldn't be possible. Zanarkand, my mom, the people I knew, they were all real! I was a living, breathing, sentient human being! I felt it…I felt it…it had to be true!

I could bleed…couldn't I?

I could laugh…couldn't I?

I could cry…couldn't I?

Then I remember. We can cry in our dreams. We can laugh in our dreams. We can bleed in our dreams.

I sigh. No point in fighting an unnecessary fight. Denial isn't the best place to live, you know.

"I'm sorry I couldn't show you Zanarkand."

That summoned Zanarkand. My home. I had all these memories of growing up there. But now I have to wonder if I even "grew up" at all. Were they just false memories planted by the Fayth when it summoned me?

I remember my mother's touch. The way she would hold me and console me when I was sad. The way she would run her fingers through my hair calling me "little Tidus" when I was five. The warmness. The way she smelled. That was all real, wasn't it?

My father…old man…Jecht. His insults, his haughtiness, the way he'd thrust a blitzball at me, hitting me square in the face. That was real, right?

I smile at the memories of my father's display of affection toward me. Guess everyone had their own ways of showing it.

"Hey!" yells Wakka, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"We're gonna see you again…?" Rikku adds.

Rikku, I'll never forget how you helped me out when I first landed in Spira. Wakka, you were my first real friend in this bizarre world. Lulu, I won't forget how you helped me understand some of Spira's ways. Kimahri…I don't have much to say about you. And that's strangely appropriate.

And Yuna…

You run up to me, trying to hold my fading form, but you go through me and fall down.

There is so much I want to say to you. You've made me feel in a way I've never felt before. Sure, I've had crushes on girls in the past…at least I think I did. Stupid Fayth.

But forget that. 

You made me feel genuine love.

I remember back in Macalania Woods, in that lake where we kissed. It wasn't my first kiss, or maybe it was. That lake was heaven and we were angels, floating around in the sky. That's how it felt. You're my angel, Yuna, who helped return me to heaven.

There are so many things I want to say to you! But I just can't think of words that would do it justice! My feelings for you, Yuna, they're special to me. I want us to be together forever, in each other's lives, dreams, hopes, and hearts. Why can't I say that? Why can't I say what I truly want to say?

"I love you."

Of course. You make it so simple. I like that.

I walk up to you and hug you. But we can't feel it physically since I just pass right through you. But we still feel it. Our love.

Not much else to do now. I'm slowly disappearing and I'm not stopping.

No more denial. Enough of this long goodbye. It's time for me to accept my fate and move on.

I run to the end of the airship, ready to jump. Everyone waves goodbye.

It's been great knowing you all. You gave my life meaning, all of you, especially you Yuna. I'll live on inside all of you. Don't ever forget me.

I jump off the airship and soar into the clouds. I always wanted to fly like this, soaring through the skies. Now I finally get a chance and I don't have to worry about falling splat into the ground!

A flash of light spreads across my face. I'm no longer in the Spiran skies. I'm surrounded by white light. I'm still moving forward, flying, but to where?

Hey…is that Braska? Yuna's father! Hi! Loved you in those Spheres.

Auron…you, too? Should've known I hadn't seen the last of you.

And who is that up ahead? It's Jecht, my old man…my father…Dad.

He looks at me, a proud smile spread across his features. He's proud of me.

I smile back at him and we exchange high fives. 

I'm happy now, sure that my life on Spira was well lived.

I won't be forgotten.

~Owari~


End file.
